Sam’s Story: Week 24

Kind of a slow week here on the Samantha front. But even small changes are adding up, as I’m still amazed some mornings when I come in to get Sam out of her crib and I swear she’s grown another three inches. It’s spooky sometimes, because it’s like this little person somehow snuck up on me when I wasn’t paying attention (or paying too much attention to to the details).

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Nowadays, though, Sam’s definitely a little person in her own right. I know she has been since before she was born, but lately she’s been much more interactive and downright fun and I realize that I’ve fallen in love with her. Don’t misinterpret that –I loved her since I met her, but it was different. Early on she represented more of a task list or a challenge. Keep her clean. Keep her healthy. Help her get enough sleep. Calm her down when she got upset. Sam’s happiness was a goal and my parenting relationship with her was more along the lines of a challenge or set of objectives I had to figure out how to reach. Under the surface, the whole thing was really about me and how good a parent I could be, even if I would have given anything –my money, my freedom, my life– to succeed.

Now, though, Sam smiles at me and I know that smile is JUST for me. It’s not gas and it’s not a learned response gained through pairing stimulus and resposne. She reaches for my face when I pick her up and she watches me when I move around the room because she knows me. In other words, I now have a relationship with her that extends beyond whether or not she’s securely strapped into the car seat or counting the number of times she’s pooped. We’re father and daughter.

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And now, some pictures:

Other things that happened this week include a trip to Babies R Us to pick up Sam’s high chair. We’re getting perilously close to starting her on solids, and we figure it’s a good idea to first get her used to sitting at the table before we give her food to smear all over it. We may start her on solids as soon as next weekend. *Shudder* In the meantime, she’s been practicing with her cup.

I also took Sam on one heck of a long walk on Saturday in her new “jogger stroller” (which also serves perfectly well as a “walk briskly because it’s too dang hot stroller”). I didn’t really mean for it to turn into a three hour tour, but I took a wrong turn and got lost in some neighborhoods. Before I knew it I was lost and everyone was speaking French. Eventually I found my way back, but not before Sam was hungry and pissed. Can’t say I blame her.