Sam’s Story: Week 122

If any of you are thinking of throwing a party for Samantha, I recently discovered what it will take to make it a success in her eyes. We went to a graduation party for one of Ger’s cousins over the weekend, and it worked out so that we could take Sam with us. The next morning I sat down with her over breakfast and asked her about it.

“Sammy,” I said, “Did you have fun at the party last night?”

“Yeah! I like the party.”

“Why? What did you do at the party?”

“I blew bubbles and I ate candy and I ate cake.”

So there you have it. All you really need to make a party for two-year olds is bubbles, candy, and cake. This formula also holds up surprisingly well for adults if you throw in a keg of beer.

Here, lots of pictures this week:

There are a good number of pictures there of Sam sporting swimwear, the reason being another party we went to earlier in the week –a pool party that Ger’s godparents throw for her birthday each year. Sam had been to their pool before, so she seemed pretty comfortable around it, though she did exhibit what I would call a healthy amount of respect for the water, probably because I repeatedly told her that the pool was evil and wanted to eat her alive. So when not taking a reassuring hand from Mommy, she would only approach the water on all fours. Also note the lovely Aquatic Life Preservation System, which I like so much I’m going to have her wear it in the bath or when drinking from a cup larger than 12 fluid ounces.

The last thing I’ll talk about this week is Sam’s latest infatuation with Thomas the Tank Engine, which is this kind of creepy-ass toy tank engine from England or Hell or somewhere. The toy tank engine she has isn’t that bad, but the television show really creeps me right the heck out. It’s all done using models and toys with a single narrator speaking the lines for all the characters. All the train engines and other machines all have anthropomorphic faces, and I think what gives me the willies is the way that their faces never move, except for their eyes move and flick around in ways that seem to have nothing to do with what’s going on in the story. It’s more like they loll and roll around in a “OH MY GOD I’M TRAPPED INSIDE THE BODY OF A TRAIN ENGINE HELP ME!” It’s like low-budget children’s television beamed straight from you-know-where, maybe the 10th circle that Dante was too scared to go to, much less write a poem about. I’m pretty sure that one of the special features on the DVD box set is a behind the scenes special that shows little imps with pitchforks running the cameras and train track controls.

Seriously. Creepy.